hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Randomize
