He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
