Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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