He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
