Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
