Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
