Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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