I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
two words...techno handjob
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
