your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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