Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
