it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
