That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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