sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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