that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
