also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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