Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
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