so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
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