She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
