If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
