Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Randomize
