Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize