God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
