Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
so let's talk penis.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
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