I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
