she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
