Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize