Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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