I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Let's get the cat blown out
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
