i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Randomize
