Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
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