When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
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