I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
