When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
