what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
i need some magic done to my vagina
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Randomize