We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Randomize
