Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
