Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Me. At least after what I've been through.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
