everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
ugly people sure do ruin things
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
