My first STD was from a foam party
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
