You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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