You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize
