The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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