So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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