Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
