we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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