Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
