those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
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