Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
