Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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