At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
