Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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