I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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