Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Randomize
