Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Randomize
