Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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