Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
