I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
