Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
