I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Randomize
