i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
