just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Randomize