Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize