you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
