I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Randomize
